My mom has a heart catheder next week. My darling cat was put to sleep yesterday,. My 504 meeting is tomorrow. Had chemo yesterday, two or three cavity fillings today. For the fillings I had two shots, but when he drilled I wasn't quite numb yet. Things of the like seem to happen quite often to me. It wasn't too big of a deal, though, even without any gas or my vicoden. I'm tired.

In my last journal I mentioned having depression. Well, it may not just be depression. My psychologist brought up the possibility of having bipolar disorder during our last session. I've mentioned it to my mother and my grandmother, my grandmother has mentioned it to my mother, and it had crossed my previous psychologist's mind, too. As such, next Monday during Clinic, we've added a psychiatrist to the list to see what he thinks about it. My mother always descriped me as "the girl with a curl" (you know, "There was a girl who had a curl, right in the middle of her forehead. And when she was good, she was very good, and when she was bad she was horrid"?) so it wouldn't surprise me much.

I've got pretty bad insomnia, which is not good at all, nonetheless paired with an auto-immune disease. One day I went 28 hours without sleep. I repeat this at least four times a month, and am rather drained from it.

I've got all Cs to Ds in school and, as mentioned in an earlier post, have been averaging an approximately 70% absence rate. I'm so behind. The 504 meeting tomorrow will help, I hope. The only reason I'm able to come online to type this is because I can't think clearly enough for homework. If I did it now, I'd fail it, which is just as bad as not doing it, so why exhaust myself more?

I miss my cat so much. We were very connected, Mindy and I. When I got sick, she got sick. When I went in the hospital, she went in the hospital. She was put to sleep yesterday, and now I'm back in the wheelchair. I miss her so much. I want ot feel her fur, and hear her yell at me in cat-speak because I was annoying her with my excessive adoration. I want to listen to her collar klink as she climbs on the table and drinks my root beer. I want my cat back.

Mindy was a beautiful, blue eyed siamese we took in after she was attacked, presumably by a cayote. She was named after another siamese my father had, because she looked just like his Mindy. He had four cats, all siamese: Mork, Mindy, Molly, and Misty, all of which died before I was born or were given away when I was because of my life-or-death asthma. She was a sassy little disobediant brat of a cat, but she loved me. She made me happy, and would lick away my tears, and I love her so much. I really hope that cats go to Heaven so I can see her again some day.

Oh, when it rains, it pours.

Please, if you would, keep my family in your prayers. Every one of us is having a hard time for some reason or another, and we would really appreciate it.